Super Coach Proves His Worth May 6th
Mullins on the field
The Broadview Hawks got off to a flying start with a well deserved win over the Etobicoke Kangaroos in their preseason warm up match on Saturday. The signs are promising for the heavily recruited side and Super Coach, Marty Walter, was in fine form inspiring and motivating his team to a three goal win. Fresh from the Raptors' Red Party, where he shared his overwhelming wealth of knowledge with a very appreciative Raptors coaching staff, Walter came out with all guns blazing and this performance will be one to remember.
The start saw the Hawks play at 10 am, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise — this was the only game not to get rained on. The starting line up had several new faces all keen to impress and earn their stop. Henry "Hank" Suh put in an impressive performance on the wing, where he will no doubt make an impact proving hard to catch and harder to get away from. Rob "Bigger than Vossie" Vickers made a solid start in the backline before Super Coach made a tactical move, swapping Andrew Hodd to half back and Rob into the ruck to scare the shit out of the opposition.
A notable performance came from Pablo "Project player" Willis, who stepped up in the second half and had a hand in some clean passages of footy — if he hadn't left his boots at the ground he could have called it a successful day. New recruit from OZ Nick "Shutts" Shuttleworth proved what all the hype was about, kicking the ball into the man on the mark three times and getting run down from behind right in front of the coach. He made up for it later by getting on the news while playing in the All-star game.
Terry "Token" Ludeman had fresh legs and plenty of the ball due to skipping the usual 5 km warm up run before playing and was promptly tagged in the second half and offered a job at the end of the game. Not to be outdone, Ian "Pipsqueak" Graham took the opportunity to trip over his own feet when 10 metres in the clear and prove that it is piss funny to watch him play. There were other notable performances from around the ground but most notable was the vast improvement in game play from last year.
With the win under their belt, most of the Hawks stuck around to watch the rest of the matches and enjoy a close contest between the OAFL All-stars and Northwind. Once again, Super Coach came to the rescue with an amazing half-time speech delivered the way only he can, in between sips from his sixth beer. Sticking to a simple game plan, Walter instructed the All-star side to "go out there and play good". By the end of the day Super Coach's record was 2-0.
With the footy over, the Hawks gathered at their new sponsor bar Grace O'Malley's for a night of shenanigans. Though the day was full of positives, the first run must have taken the wind out from beneath some of the team's wings because the new VP Social, Hoddy, could only manage a half-baked excuse as to why he was not attending. This reporter wonders if we will have an improvement on last year's Social Director, Forbes "Couldn't organize a root in a brothel" Gemmell. Not to say that this was the only Hawk to put in a questionable performance — Marc "I steal trophies coz I can't win 'em" Magierowicz was seen fleeing the bar with girlfriend in toe muttering on about how he "just has to see Maid of Honor or he would just die" and Jonathon Barlow made a seamless return to the team, quickly downing a beer before being whisked away by his girlfriend.
And so it was left to the rest of the team to make a night of it. With a strong core of young bachelors it was a night where miracles could happen. Token was pulling off some amazing dance moves, Nic "Yes, that was me tripping over on the telly" Barden couldn't string two words together, and it was around 1:30 am when Luke "Let's play as a team and do it my way" Walker somehow persuaded an attractive young blonde that she should see his pet scorpion he has drying out under his bed. Ian "I tried to call myself guns but got pipsqueak instead" Graham made the most of his newly found marital status and was seen making love eyes with a 'friend' who this reporter has heard he has been making baked goods with on a regular basis. Dan "Hamburger" Walker must have had too much to drink and was spotted escorting his Wednesday night girl home when it was clearly Saturday night. All in all, the Broadview Hawks could call the day a smashing success.
You can watch the Hawks take on the Central Blues in the first round this Saturday at 3 pm at Humber North.
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